When I first arrived to Santa Barbara to begin the 250 hour yoga certification teacher training I was excited and also a little nervous. I chose not to stay in the house with the other trainees and to instead camp in my travel trailer for the month. I live just two hours away from the training location and I thought it would be a fun experience to camp right by the beach while training. My worries at the time were that people in the house would form close relationships and that I might be the outsider because I was not living in the house. The first day the teachers and trainees were very welcoming and I began to feel more comfortable with my choice.
I went into the month long yoga teacher training because I wanted to build upon my current knowledge of the postures and correct any of the poses and breathing exercises of mine that needed work. I was also excited for transformation and breakthroughs in my life. I knew that eventually I would like to teach. However, I just wanted to experience the training and explore if teaching was something in my future. A few days into my journey I began to get very overwhelmed. I had just started my hot yoga practice in November at a Bikram studio close to my house. I began to get overwhelmed because I was comparing myself to the other trainees. Many of them had been practicing for over a year and I was feeling like I was in over my head. I started to try to figure out how I could leave after two weeks, go back home, and practice more so that I would have more experience. In a short amount of time I had become close to a few people in my training and I had expressed my concerns. They all agreed that I should stay. I talked with one of my close friends who was leaving after two weeks because her job would not allow her to stay for the entire month long yoga teacher training. She told me that if she could stay she would and we had a great conversation. After that conversation I made my choice to stick it out for the entire month. I was extremely grateful for all of my fellow trainees and now lifelong friends. I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
After I got over my little self, I was able to arrive at Self Realization and began to receive the transformation I was seeking. The rest of the month long yoga teacher training was amazing and blew all of my expectations out of the water. I also learned to go through life without expectations which opened up so many wonderful opportunities and experiences. One of the biggest lessons I learned and took away from the training was to do things with no attachment to the outcome, to give unconditionally without regard to the fruits of my actions.