After just two weeks of evolation yoga teacher training, I found myself repeatedly arriving at a much different baseline state of being. It’s been difficult to define this baseline state in my mind, perhaps because I haven’t taken the time put it into words, but I feel that now is a good time to try. To both acknowledge that an internal transformation is occurring and celebrate and welcome its existence!
My expectations going into evolation’s yoga immersion program were fairly loose. I expected to learn A LOT, meet inspirational people and most likely feel super tired all of the time. I was excited for the knowledge, excited for the people, but nervous about the potential impact it could have on my life.
To the reader (hello there!), these expectations may seem normal enough. One would expect that anxious nerves come with change and being vulnerable in a group of strangers. Prior to beginning the training, I did not place much thought on the messages I had received from the evolation team, their message that it would be a “life changing experience”. If anything, I brushed those messages aside due to their vastness. Life changing? If you want to make a human’s heart rate escalate quickly just say “it will be life changing”. That statement is bound to result in the precipitation of any and all coping mechanisms one could muster. My coping mechanism was to dismiss and move forward. Generally, I’ve noticed that if something seems too large for me to process, I veer towards not processing it at all and instead let it bubble up in mindless moments of anxiousness.
With that said, here I am, processing a life changing experience. That in and of itself speaks to the internal transformation I have encountered and am still experiencing. Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly), this perceivably individual transformation takes place BECAUSE of the community of people I have immersed myself in. To describe these brilliant people as “strangers” already seemed foreign and inaccurate to me following the first few days of training.
After two weeks I’ve come to believe that the strength and energy of a group is a phenomenon that is only watered down when attempted to describe in mere words. Thus, forgive me for this two dimensional account. What I am certain of is that my reduction in anxiety and depressive cognitions is a direct result of this yoga community. What is even more uplifting, is that I feel empowered and confident in my abilities to continue this baseline state of being beyond my teacher training experience.
In honor of simplicity, my teacher training group has served my soul.
Here is what I have received from them (so far):
o I can be BIG; I can be brave.
o I know that communication is more than the physical, much more.
o I can be still. I can be still AND at peace.
o Being messy and sucking is totally a thing that happens over and over again. If you learn from it and truly forgive yourself, you’ve expanded.
o Opposing energies can be utilized effectively and deserve exploration.
o There is balance to be found.
o I am smarter as a whole. I am smarter as a group.
o We all care about something. Therefore, we all care.
o If it’s described as “life changing”, it will probably be a useful and valuable experience beyond words. No anxiety needed.