The many faces of change are in my fore thoughts here at training. After a rib injury last spring, I had great pain and for many months after I still held my sides with my arms when I coughed or sneezed. Even though I did not feel pain, I carried fear of pain. This protective mindset manifested itself in more ways than I realized.
Training with evolation is an incredibly supportive and transformative environment and my time here is helping me see and break the mental and physical patterns I hold to protect myself out of fear; all in the process of becoming an awesome new yoga teacher.
strengthen and stretch
We are just over two weeks into training and with Zefea, Mark, and Torrey’s help we are all learning the ways we hold ourselves back. Everyone has places they need to strengthen and stretch in their body and in their lives. My injury is making salient that the movements I need the most are the ones I avoid out of fear. Fear closes my heart and chest and opening those areas back up is taking the release of muscles and emotional barriers.
Being open to letting go of fear in the body and mind does not bring immediate opening all of the time. Change comes in many forms. Sometimes it is an uncontrollable emotional release in back-bending like myself and others experienced. After a few powerful waves of change, my ego craves the catharsis of drastic change – the kind of change that leaves me feeling shaky and illuminated. However, I am working to remember that subtle adjustments and awareness are growth and they bring their own light. As Torrey tells us in similar words, change sometimes comes so subtly that you may not even think anything is happening. Trust though that new awareness makes things happen!