learning to surrender


day 3

I love how drastically one day can differ from the next. My charged emotional response less than 24-hours earlier now feels like a lifetime ago. Today had such infinite possibility and proved to be quite a different experience.

I woke up at 5:30am to give myself time to look over the posture of the day. I hadn’t begun to memorize it before that moment and I was going to be damned if I had to relive my muted account of the day prior.

One of the hardships I am up against in this course is having registered so late. I was too busy with work and trying to tie up loose ends to even attempt to read through my dialogue. This now means that every day I am reading the postures anew. And for a person who prides herself on being two steps ahead, I am having a very hard time letting go of what is and accepting that I am just going to have to make due. I suppose we can call this “Chivonne’s Surrender Number One”.

After a few hours playing the memory game I headed off to the studio. I decided to use the thirty minute drive to get lost in my music. There is something truly beautiful about the way in which a song can transform your thoughts and boost your mood.

Our class today was lead in silence (my first ever). It was absolutely moving. I have never had such a full on experience in a class. The posture clinics from the previous day combined with my total inward focus lead me to explore my practice in a whole new way. I am relearning the series in a far more anatomically inclined, integral way. And although I am working with a new level of depth, I am moving forward with alignment and strength I wasn’t aware I had.

Then came time for the posture clinic; and you know what? I f*cking rocked that sh*t! It went so incredibly well! I was confident, articulate and dialogue driven. Most importantly, I was me. I sounded like the teacher I know I want to be and it was reciprocated well. I am on cloud nine.

But near that high up cloud is something else I am truly excited for. That is my bed. And it is calling me in a way I haven’t experienced in a while. Even as I type these words, my eyes are fighting against gravity to stay open. I can’t fight anymore. 5:30am is only a few deep breaths away so I must give my body the rest it’s earned.

I will end by reiterating my delight in my ability to guide my peers through a posture.

Tomorrow’s intention is to rock it again.

Chivonne Monaghan


Chivonne's yoga story began five years ago when she discovered the hot yoga Primary Series. She knew instantly she wanted to become a teacher so she could share her passion with others; giving back what had been given to her: inspiration, strength, discipline, compassion and love. After a few years of living in various countries, Chivonne found myself travelling the world as an occupation with a middle-eastern airline. And when the opportunity to become a teacher become available to her in the UAE she quit her job on the spot and enrolled in the course. She feels so truly blessed to be starting her journey into teaching and I is so excited by the endless possibilities that await her.